I had a day last week where I was feeling really icky about myself all morning. I hadn't even been staring in a mirror or seen photos of myself, I just felt gross in my body. Bloated. Huge. Shame-filled. Super critical of almost every part of me (body criticism is often like potato chips - you just can't stop at one). Old thought patterns started coming up "I need to do an hour work out every single day; a walk isn't enough. Chocolate need to be cut down to once a week or maybe none at all for the next month..."
And then I had an almost out of body experience.
I recognized what was happening, and called myself out. My rockstar self heard the old record start playing and came over to pull the needle up. Or as I'm clearly showing my age here, my rockstar self hit "pause" on the old playlist with this conversation:
Rockstar me: "Hold up lady. Do you hear yourself - is that how you want to be talking? Where has that kind of talk gotten you? How did it work out when you tried that shit in the past? "
Self-loathing me: Rolls eyes and mumbles..."not so well..."
Rockstar me: "Okay, so let's slow down and step back. What's going on with you today?"
Self-loathing me: "I'm bloated because I have my period, which is making me feel really bad about myself. And my boobs feel huge and floppy"
Rockstar me: "I'm sorry that you're suffering. May I gently remind you that you're extra critical of yourself at this time of the month? I think you're also wearing an old bra, which never helps matters. And you've only had half a bottle of water so far today." (It was 1:00pm)
Self-loathing me: "Truth"
Rockstar me: "So do you need to get extreme and start making all sorts of restrictions and rules? Or do you think there's a chance you're going to feel better in a day or two if you actually hydrate and put on a decent bra? Can you please be a little nicer now?"
Self-loathing me: Nods and backs away.
I absolutely love to help clients accept (and ultimately love) their bodies as is, and focusing on health, not weight...
But I have hormones. And bad bras. And sometimes I forget to drink my water (takes sip). I'm human. And I too, have days where I don't want to strut my stuff. It's not realistic to expect yourself to feel like Hottie McHotterson every single day. #Sorrynotsorry, but you're human too. And every day is different.
The key is recognizing when you start to revert into the old thought patterns, so that you can help prevent yourself from spiraling down into the world of "always/never/all/nothing."
Working with a coach means you don't have to do it alone. In the beginning it can be really hard to play both "parts" of that conversation above. I'm a compassionate outside voice, empowering you to prevent the downward spiral — friends and family often don't have the same impact even if they mean well! I'm here to ask those tough questions, make you aware of the thoughts that you're currently accepting as truth, and (the really important part) helping you create new patterns.
Ready to get started? Click here to set up a shame-free strategy session.