You know the old saying about assuming, right? No one wants to be an ass, but the reality is, we all make assumptions. Almost every day.
These assumptions have a direct impact on our health & joy because we make choices based on them.
About what your boss will say about your project. (So you don't sleep all night, worried about what this will mean for your career.)
About what your friend is thinking when she doesn't reply to a text. (So you get upset, and maybe eat a box of cookies.)
About what the doctor will say about your hip. (So you don't make the appointment.)
About how you'll feel about a new food. (So you don't try it.)
Assumptions are a protection mechanism for our bodies, minds and hearts. Protected from being vulnerable to avoid getting emotionally hurt. Protection from disappointment or embarrassment. So in that sense, our subconscious is just trying to keep us okay, but most times, we're not putting ourselves in actual danger. Our assumptions are often wrong, so then we've kept ourselves hidden or worried for no reason.
We've missed out on a full night of sleep, something helpful or just plain fun!
One of my favorite books is The Four Agreements. It's a fast read. And it's the kind of common sense where it instantly resonates with you, even if you've never thought about it in that way before. It makes you think "yessss! If I could just keep this at the forefront of my mind, I'd be so much happier!"
"Make no assumptions" is the third Agreement. I love it because it can be applied to almost every. single. area. in life. and it makes a huge difference.
The first step in stopping assumptions is recognizing when we're making them.
We speak (or think) as if the assumption is fact. We usually don't say "I assume he's going to say..." We think "he's going to say I need surgery" or "now she's mad at me," even when we don't actually KNOW these things.
It's one of the things I love about coaching — getting to repeat back your words to you. Then you realize that you've made an assumption or jumped to a conclusion that isn't actually a fact. You see that there is potential, a grey area, hope. Or maybe it prompts you to dig a bit deeper to see what you're trying to protect yourself from. Then you can knock down that obstacle and get to what you really want. The truth. Real experiences instead of the ones you've created in your mind.